Eyes Open
by XxPenguinSoldierxX
Summary: A trilogy comprised of one shots & songfics, all based on Skipper's 'original' team in a horrible penguin war. Skipper's 'original' team is based upon my views/opinions.
1. Eyes Open

**Hi everyone! ^ ^ ****Well I have a lot more time than I thought so I came up with this.**

**I wrote this for three reasons. 1. First time writing a songfic. :D 2. I wanted to practice writing in first person. 3. I have terrible writers block!**

**Warning-This story contains heavier language and hints of gore/a lot of blood.  
**

**Disclamer: I do not own PoM or the song used. I only own the story.**

**I**** altered the ending of the song just slightly.**

**Song****: _Eyes open _by_ Taylor Swift_**

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**Journal entry #36**

**_I was slapped today…again. It stung, yes. But it was well deserved. I've been doing some of the dumbest things lately…and I just don't know why. I think I'm not caring anymore. I think-_**

"Lights out solider."

My head jolted upright, I felt my heart racing as the stern blue eyes of my superior officer stood in front of my open bunk.

"Oh, ah yes Skipper." My reply was silent as I saluted the flat headed penguin.

He nodded once, than left. Relief washed through my black and white feathers.

I was so grateful; he had every right to take my notebook...especially after the hell I had put him through today…but he didn't.

"Wow, man you're lucky as _shit_. If that had been me…well man you know what would have happened."

That was Johnson. My dark blue eyes gazed left to see his playful smile. I loved that bastard.

"Yes, the probability of your journal being taken away was…"

Mumbling followed as Kowalski calculated yet another useless fact.

"Can it Kowalski, I have my _notebook _and that's all that matters." I glared upwards through the fabric at the brainiac above me.

"Manfredi…it's a journal."

I glared once more up at Kowalski and punched the back of his thin mattress.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For being an idiot." I growled adding "Journals are for girls."

Next thing I knew, Kowalski's head appeared over the side of the bunk and I was met with the scientist frowning in my face. Before I could react he reached for my open notebook and snatched it.

"Hey!" I cried in astonishment. Leaping forward I tried to grab it back but Kowalski was too quick.

Holding it out of my reach he pointed to my heading and spoke slowly, like I was dumb.

"J-O-U-R-N-A-L." He had a smug look on his face that I wanted to wipe off real quick.

"If you don't give it back I'll punch you!" I shouted.

"Now who's acting like a girl." His smug smile grew wider as he threw my notebook at me.

I wanted to _kill _him.

Arguing inevitable I stood from my bunk, landing on the cheap wooden planks of our small sleeping unit.

Kowalski glanced down at me, taunting me with his cool, collected gaze. Around his neck was the necklace his girlfriend gave him right before he left; like so many others to join the penguin militia.

Right now…I wanted to strangle him with that necklace.

Yet _another_ one of my more recent issues has come bubbling to the surface. My irrational anger.

I started to shout at him, in which he gladly followed suit. In the background Johnson's pleading voice for us to shut the hell up rang throughout the cabin.

What followed next made my blood run cold. The three of us turned our heads towards the door in which Skippers enraged body was standing in. He strode over to us and slapped the daylights out of Kowalski and I.

"Would you two just shut the hell up!" he roared in my face, flipper lifted in rage.

"Thank you!" Johnson raised his flippers in some sort of triumph…earning a look from Skipper that would have made a leopard seal cry in utter fear.

"Look." Skipper started, gaze sweeping over the three of us. "I don't give a damn what your all whining about but whatever it is…it stops now." He eyed Kowalski and I. "Got it?"

"Yes sir…" we answered together.

"…Because if I can hear you all the way on the _other _side of camp-" He continued "-then _my _superiors can hear you. And that is NOT going to fly in _my unit_. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir." Kowalski and I answered quietly, eyes on the floor.

He turned, fiery eyes sweeping over us once more.

"We're a team." He snarled. "Start acting like one". With that he slammed the door and left.

I didn't want to look at Kowalski. Laying in my bed I turned away from Johnson to stare for a moment at our good pal Rico's empty bunk…he was hurt bad on our last mission. What had it been…? Three weeks now in the infirmary? That crazy son of a bitch was probably in more torment than any of us put together…poor guy.

"Good night." Kowalski's deep voice bounced off the walls.

Neither Johnson or I responded. I surly wasn't going to give him any of my good nights. He could kiss my ass for all I cared.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

The next day had gone by quickly…although I was still pretty pissed at Kowalski. I wouldn't look at him, much less talk to him. But all that changed this afternoon.

"Alright men, front and center!"

Skipper's voice boomed from the center of camp. Our unit plus three others stopped immediately what we were doing and strode towards the center, curious at Skipper and his three superior officers gathered next to the flat headed leader.

We gathered around them, creating a large semi-circle.

"Today we are going to practice a few training moves on each other." Skipper began. "Think of this as a test of your strength and everything you've learned in your units." He concluded, head held high.

"Yes." The oldest superior started. "Skipper, would you like to demonstrate your unit first." It was more of a statement than a question in which Skipper replied "yes sir!" with a solid salute.

He tapped his lower beak in thought, scanning the clearing until he met my eyes. I averted contact quickly, like a damn fool.

"Manfredi you're up." He called curtly.

I groaned silently.

Walking into the center I stood in front of Skipper, saluting him respectfully.

Please…anybody BUT Kowalski…I prayed in silence. God must hate me right now because Skippers eyes landed on Kowalski and he beckoned him forward.

I scowled, staring at him bitterly as he stepped forward on Skippers other side. He saluted as well, giving me a sideways glance.

Skipper stepped back saying "begin."

Silence followed.

_Everybody's waiting._

My heart thudded against my chest as I circled him. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea…I'd get to kick the shit out of Kowalski.

_Everybody's watching._

He eyed me like a hawk, calculating my every step.

_Even when you're sleeping…_

I smiled, lunging forward. I guess I was to the make the first move.

_Keep your eye-eyes open. _

We collided in a fury of punches and kicks. I let my rage towards him take hold for a moment as I pummeled him into the ground.

He collapsed but stood quickly, dodging my next blow.

_The tricky thing is yesterday we were just…children playing soldiers, just pretending. Dreaming dreams with happy endings._

We sparred for a while, landing a few good punches on each other.

_In backyards, winning battles with the wooden swords. But now we've stepped into a cruel world where everybody stands in, keep score._

Kowalski stood from my last assault, blood trickled from his beak. Was I starting to feel bad for this bastard? I didn't have time to think about it as in the distance, in the trees something came hurdling through the air…flying so fast. Was I the only one seeing this…or was I just imagining it?

My eyes wide in obvious fear I screamed as loud as possible "_GRENADE_!" before I shot forward like a rocket, grabbing Kowalski and shielding him from the explosion that followed.

_Keep your eyes open._

The heat and flames scorched my back as our camp erupted into utter chaos. I heard faintly, Skippers voice in the background. My ear holes were ringing and Kowalski was notably shaking from my protective hold. Huh. I guess I did care for him.

Blinking away dizziness I dragged his stunned body to the side of a building. My back stung from pain but I barely noticed. I dropped Kowalski's body, he still looked as if he were a deer in headlights…this wasn't going to fly.

I slapped him hard.

He came too and finally focused. His eyes reflected gratitude as I spoke roughly.

"We need to get our guns. Ya think you can make it?"

"Yes…but our cabin's on the other side of camp."

This prevented one hell of a problem.

"Well then we're just going to have to make a run for it." I said while pulling him to his feet.

We peered out from the side of the building and met the faces of enemy penguins in dark blue uniforms.

I suddenly shouted "Come on! We can make it!"

_Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown._

Grabbing Kowalski's flipper I pulled him into the fray where we dodged bullets and numerous grenades.

_Everybody's watching to see the fallout._

My head swerved right, towards the infirmary. I couldn't help but laugh. A heavily bandaged, hobbling Rico had a handgun in his one working flipper and was firing at the enemies; knocking them down one by one. Nurses were trying to pull him to safety but he shook them off. Not even broken bones or a nearly cracked skull could keep him away from the sounds of battle…what a badass.

_Even when you're sleeping, sleeping. Keep your eye-eyes open. _

We reached our cabin, flying inside we grabbed our army green helmets and rifles. Now we were prepared for the ambush. I turned to face Kowalski. He had the necklace his girlfriend gave him wrapped tightly in his flippers. I watched as he delicately kissed the picture of her, eyes closed with a few silent tears streaming down his face. He remained this way for a few precious seconds before closing the picture of Doris and looking up at me expectedly.

"Cover me!" I yelled, running back out into the mists of war and red coating our camp.

_Keep your eye-eyes open. _

I shot a few blue soldiers, dodging their bullets.

_Keep your eye-eyes open. _

I felt Kowalski's presence from behind as I moved forward.

_So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard._

_Every lesson forms a new scar, they never thought you'd make it this far…_

The sounds of war rang throughout my entire body. My hearing had improved, thank God. Kowalski and I stood side by side covering each other's flanks and moving deeper into the mass of fighting soldiers.

Good and bad.

"GRENADE!" Someone screamed close by. I turned just in time to see the thing flying through the air…aimed for Skipper…my leader…my friend.

_But turn around oh, they surrounded you, it's a showdown and nobody comes to save you now._

I gritted my beak, propelling ahead. I shoved the unsuspecting Skipper over and leaped into the air. Kicking the grenade away I pushed forward, my lower body landing on top of it…I knew I had a few seconds before it would blow.

_But you got something they don't, yeah, you got something they don't._

I looked ahead to see Kowalski's terrified face…before the grenade blew.

_You just gotta keep your eyes open. _

I didn't feel anything as I sailed through the air, hitting the ground next to a cabin. I coughed, feeling warm blood spray out my mouth. My hearing was almost completely gone again and my vision wasn't any better.

_Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown._

I tried first moving my flippers…alright good so far. Except when I raised my left flipper it completely locked…I was unable to move it any more. Now my legs…oh God; I was either paralyzed or my legs were gone…probably both.

Feeling a presence to my right I weakly turned my head. Kowalski's fearful expression said it all.

_Everybody's watching to see the fallout._

"It's bad…isn't it." I whispered, feeling more blood surface.

Kowalski looked down and…actually threw up right next to me. "Gross…" my whisper was waning into a hoarse noise, unrecognizable.

He kneeled by my side, crying like a damn baby. I couldn't take it. Using my good flipper I raised my body only to fall back in shock at what I had just seen. _Holy shit…_

Losing my legs sounded like a day at the damn beach.

I felt steamy tears slide down my face, washing away the crimson that had collected in the last couple of minutes. "How the hell am I still alive?" I croaked.

_Even when you're sleeping, sleeping keep your eye-eyes open. _

Kowalski shook his head, unable to speak.

_Keep your eye-eyes open._

"Kowalski." I said, feeling my heart beat slower, my breathing soften…I was slipping away.

_Keep your eye-eyes…_

He looked at me, tears glistening his eyes.

_Keep your feet ready, heartbeat steady, keep your eyes open._

With all my energy I grabbed his flipper and held it up.

_Keep your aim locked._

"I love you…You're my brother in arms and you always will be." I stated as clear as I could, feeling my life drain away.

_The night grows dark._

"Manfredi, I-I'm so sorry…can you forgive me for…for everything?"

I nodded weakly, feeling strangely warm…I was preparing to leave.

"You never did anything wrong." I replied with as much strength as I could bear.

I couldn't help but release a gurgling chuckle as my eyes met his.

Kowalski's confusion turned to a spark of laughter as I said…

"…Kowalski…I DO have a journal."

_Keep your eyes open!_

My last breath escaped me, releasing me from my own prison.

_Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown._

Kowalski's mournful sobbing were the last things I heard.

_Everybody's watching to see the fallout._

Life slipped away as a blinding white light took hold, caressing me in its gentle pull.

_Even when you're sleeping, sleeping. Keep your eye-eyes open._

_(Keep your eye- eyes open)_

It was beautiful, feeling and seeing my life evaporate from the living.

_Keep your eye-eyes open._

_(Keep your eye- eyes open)_

I was free.

_Keep your eye-eyes open…_

**A/N: Please review! :) **

**I apologize if Kowalski seemed a bit ooc. **

**I'm thinking of making a sequel to this on how Johnson dies... **


	2. Gravity

**Hi everyone! :D **

**First and foremost I'd like to thank the people who reviewed/haven't reviewed but are reading. The reviews really mean a lot, so thank you. :)**

**Warning: Mild language and blood**

**Genre: Tragedy **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PoM or its characters, just my story idea. :) **

**I hope you all enjoy! **

* * *

Deep breaths and shaky flippers, that's how we were all feeling in this intense frigid night that lay before us. A bitter wind blew through our still feathers, causing some to shake...like our newest recruit, Private.

Poor Kid, he looked scared and for good reason.

This mission was our biggest rescue and capture assault in at least two years. No doubt, everyone's minds were racing, but I'd place my bets on Skipper being the most worried. This was his largest assignment…greatest test…and if he failed?

Well, he could kiss his military career goodbye.

Not something any of us wanted to see. _At all. _

So…despite the fact that the Kid wouldn't be joining in on all the fun, he was scared.

For us? Definitely.

The Kid had heart. No one could deny it, even I found the Kid sweet and innocent at times…and that's saying something.

We had chosen to make camp for the night on a tall hill surrounded by a few short, snow burdened trees. The ground was wet, the air cold, and we had absolutely zero protection against the elements.

It's funny how _I'm _the one doing all the complaining around here while the Kid doesn't even make a peep.

Nope, not a word on how cruddy our conditions are, or how almost intolerable Skipper has become. I've come to the realization that I have to respect that since…well I'm such a damn complainer.

"Kowalski! Come on man, what's the ETA on that dinner!"

My voice was almost lost in the howl of the starting blizzard. The flurries swirled around our forms, Private and Rico underneath a tree trying to set up our tents, Skipper pacing, myself directly centered in camp, and Kowalski who was crouched straight ahead of me.

The newly made lieutenant was hovering over a pack in the quickly falling snow. He was doing what he could to thaw out our meager provisions but his actions seemed fruitless, at least to me.

"I'm doing my best!" he turned his head towards me, the fast falling storm whipping in his face.

His silver locket seemed to be glistening in this attack from Mother Nature. I mused over the fact that it was probably frozen, how _in_convenient.

"Well hurry it up, man! I'm starvin' over here."

I grumbled too myself and myself alone but as things would have it Skipper caught my unneeded complaining.

"Well Johnson, why don't you go make yourself a little more useful and set up our tents!"

His voice was harsh and extremely irritated.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to where the Kid and Rico were stationed, doing what they could to try and not let our tents fly away.

_Amateurs…can't even set up a few damn tents. _

"Guys, I've got this."

They looked up at me with gratitude plastered along their otherwise frozen faces.

Smirking, I took a hold of the dingy grey tarp and in wonderment asked myself why the hell Skipper doesn't take out his men more often.

"Peg." I instructed, holding out my flipper impatiently while Rico searched. Once it was found he and the Kid held down the loose ends as I tied down our tents.

When that was finished I stood, all at once feeling a tiny speck of warmth hit my back in which I practically melted.

Against all this cold, ice and being stuck in the middle of a frozen hell…than yea, I can justify saying it felt 'that good'.

A small flush of orange instantly lit our small clearing, outlining our cold, frigid bodies against the hard, icy ground.

"Thank God." I mumbled, but then backtracked myself. In confusion I whispered "What the hell…?"

I turned and practically burst into laughter at seeing Kowalski having the time of his life trying to keep whatever small amount of fire he'd started stay alive.

"Good job man." I shouted while trying to contain myself. Of all the things he could have done he had to try and start a fire…in the middle of a raging blizzard with no means of protection.

Skipper _really_ needs to get his men out in the field more often…

Trudging over to my younger comrade I tapped his shoulder and yelled so my voice could be heard.

"Hey smart guy, ya wanna build a hot tub out here while you're at it?" A couple moments of silence and then I fake gasped and said in a mocking tone "Hey ya know what? Maybe it will shield your little frozen fire! Yep, brightest idea you've had all night man, building that toasty fire of yours."

Of course I wanted retaliation.

I wanted to have the satisfaction of hearing my younger team mate loose it and for once scream his brains out. But instead, the egghead held one of the hardest, coldest expressions I'd ever seen on him and just kept on trying to save his pathetic little fire.

Being on Skippers team longer than any of these _amateurs_, I couldn't help but poke a little fun at my most annoying friend…_yes,_ Kowalski _is _my friend despite the fact that I pick on him the most.

Although sometimes like now I'm sure he just hates my guts…but still _not even a wink of recognition_?

I was about to say something I knew I'd absolutely regret…and I'm sure Skipper would _literally_ kill me for…when out of nowhere Rico placed a flipper to my shoulder.

"Don' worry 'bout it, le' Kowalski do 'is thing."

I scoffed and shrugged. "Thanks man."

I couldn't help but pity my good buddy Rico. He lost his voice a few years ago thanks to a mission that landed him in the infirmary for nearly a month.

Sniffing, I suddenly remembered the day of the ambush. The day we lost so many good soldiers…our best friend included.

When I had learned of Manfredi's death, I'm not gonna lie…that was the worst day of my life. Never had I experienced so much grief and withdrawal from losing a comrade. _Never_.

Sighing, I saw whiteness cover my sight as I exhaled.

"Manfredi…" I mumbled silently. Overhearing my statement Rico said quietly "I 'iss 'im to." before patting my back.

Grumbling my agreements I wanted to leave those painful memories behind and just forget them completely. That was the past right? So weren't things suppose to just remain there…in the past?

I certainly thought so.

Leaving that fateful day behind for Rico to reminisce in, my body moved involuntarily towards Skipper.

As I crept over to where he was now standing, watching over the valley below our camp, I couldn't help but feel a little frightened…addressing him in his own sea of distress.

"Um…sir, the tents are all set up…so…"

He stood like a statue in the piling snow, un-replying. I followed his gaze towards a massive structure overlooking the valley. The valley itself was covered in dense short trees while the slope leading up to the enemies outer wall was nothing but jagged rocks and crumbling silt covered in soft snow. It was an ominous shadow in the night, that outer wall. I shuddered at its darkness.

To our left lay nothing but cliffs and thin air, forgetting that would be the death of us.

"Sir…?" I tried again, feeling intensely awkward.

I sensed I was interrupting something important between Skipper and this silent vigil. My body shifted uncomfortably as I backed and turned away from the scene.

Maybe Kowalski finally had dinner ready…

Unexpectedly a flipper was placed firmly on my back, frightening me half to death. Skipper's voice followed.

"So you have those tents up Johnson?"

"Yes sir." I saluted him respectfully.

He whisked past me, obviously over his silent trance. I watched and then followed after him as the smell of fish reawakened my already starving appetite.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Morning gave us little comfort…to say the least.

We were putting our supplies away and preparing for the attack on our unsuspecting enemies while dawn just barely showed her morning light.

Our mission?

Rescue our captured boys and hopefully take a few men in blue for ourselves. We need to show _them _that _they _can't just take whatever they want.

Anger attacked my senses while I tied a pack down violently. Just thinking about those penguins in their stupid blue uniforms made me want to puke.

I didn't notice as the Kid started to make his way towards my grumbling and already irritated body. Without warning he placed a small, reassuring flipper on my shoulder.

The bright blue of his irises reflected nothing but kindness when I angrily stared back. The Kid was about to say something no doubt sweet and endearing…but I never gave him the chance as I yelled…

"PRIVATE? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Ok, more like a scream…let's just say that was not one of my prouder moments.

The Kid's look of pure shock turned into immense sadness as he stepped away from me. Small tears were visible in the corner of his eyes as he moved and stuck like a magnet to Kowalski's side.

I'd noticed the two had an almost immediate bond when they'd first met. The Kid always went to Kowalski for everything, much to my annoyance. To me, a kid his age should be able to stand up for himself. Not run back to 'mommy' every time something scary happens; _especially_ being in the military.

But…this was Private, and it seemed I was the only one who felt this way.

Kowalski embraced the Kid's hug, all the while glaring at me with disappointment and revulsion.

Actually, everyone was staring at me.

Despite my earlier theories on how kids should act…I felt embarrassed and ashamed at myself.

No one yelled at Private. Not even Skipper.

In my opinion, Private's way too young to be in the Penguin Militia. I think it's safe to say that most of us were surprised our higher up officials let him through.

I mean come on! The kid still had a few down feathers attached to his damn body!

Where they that desperate for more recruit's that they'd actually take in a kid so young?

I mean, I know we're not exactly winning the war…and a lot of our men are either MIA…or KIA…but still, why he was here was beyond me.

Standing I sighed, time to make amends…

"Hey, Kid…" I started, reaching out a flipper towards him. Kowalski's enraged look and protective hold said how he was feeling.

I glared back, snarling "Come on man, just let me do this."

The scientist towered over me, and for half a second I thought he was going to attack but to my surprise he stepped away and released the semi-frightened child. The lieutenant's flippers were folded around his chest in anger.

I could just tell everybody was watching…listening in on how 'big bad ole Johnsons' going to apologize to this kid who doesn't even belong here. My eyes narrowed on Private, who was visibly shaking under my hard glare.

_To hell with my unit…this is just plain ridiculous. _

As I thought this, Private's lower beak quivered and tears spilled out and over his round cheeks. It was like he had just read my thoughts in which I sighed miserably.

_God damn it…_

The camp was dead silent as I bent down and took the Privates small flippers into my much larger flippers.

Sighing again and in even greater annoyance I began my little 'apology speech.'

"Kid, I'm sorry for yellin at ya…you just caught me in a bad moment is all."

New meaning shone in the Kids eyes, causing me to groan in more irritation.

Although aggravated in the worst way, a sudden, fluttery, and intoxicatingly happy feeling crept within the deepest confounds of my chest and mind…but as sudden as it began I crushed it in an instant.

"Are you still mad at me?" He asked in his sweet British voice; it riddled with innocence.

My beak ground together and into one of the tightest smiles I think I ever had to produce.

"Naw, Kid I wasn't mad at ya to begin with." My voice came out tight and forceful, but it was enough. Either way he accepted my apology.

His face lit up in an instant and he hugged me so tight I could barely breathe.

"Alright now…" I said, wanting to now strangle the trusting child as I pried him off of me and all at the same time wanting to punch a very smug looking Kowalski square in the face.

At that moment…I really wished I'd been born with three flippers.

He then released me…I think he somehow sensed he was pushing it… and returned to Kowalski, giddy as any child could possibly be.

Now, I could finally breathe.

"Johnson!"

Too little too late…

My gaze swept over our tiny camp towards Skipper and Rico. They stood side by side against the wind that had now started to kick up, blowing snow everywhere.

I made my way over, expecting the tongue lashing I was sure to receive.

But my flat headed leader surprised both Rico and I by stating "You did good, Johnson. You did good."

Skipper smiled for the first time in at least a month, placing a flipper on my shoulder. Rico also smiled and nodded his approval.

Skipper's once in a life time smile faded as he spoke a hidden promise I was absolutely sure he'd keep.

"I'm only going easy on Private since he still has his down feathers. Once those are gone, the kid gloves come off."

I chuckled lightly; in my opinion, the sooner the better.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

We moved with all the stealth in the world, the purpose of our mission laying heavy in our minds.

The short, yet dense trees of the valley swiftly came and went within our field of vision.

Prowling through the tall grass and numerous shrubs was only half the fun. The snow underfoot was covered in a thick layer of sheer ice, making travel hazardous.

Our rifles were raised, army green hats resting peacefully on our heads. Skipper led, followed by Kowalski then Rico and finally I took the back.

All was silent and freezing. Icicles had formed on tree limbs and snow piled in heaps around us.

Things were going as planned…although as always, things seem to come with a price…

We must have been half-way thru the valleys tree enlaced floor when out of nowhere Skipper halted. It was so sudden and somewhat irrational of him that I became alert, ready to fight if necessary.

My commanding officer raised his flipper for us to stop and it was shaking…only slightly…but still shaking.

At that moment, the most dreadful sick feeling came over me.

Something was wrong…very, very wrong. I pushed my way forward, ignoring Skippers order. It was only when I noticed Kowalski and Rico's baffled expressions that true terror started to seize every fiber of my being.

I gulped and followed their line of vision, expecting the worst. I got what I'd anticipated.

We remained motionless as out of the trees a single penguin came into view. Even under the welts, bruises and unfathomable amount of blood…I and our unit could tell he was one of our captured men.

He stared at us blankly; a metal box with numerous colored wires was specked scarlet against his stomach.

Kowalski breathed, almost in awe "Surgically implanted, no doubt."

Skipper and I slapped him simultaneously and without looking. All eyes were trained on our doomed comrade.

Skipper was the first to move. He took a tentative step forward with his flippers raised.

"Look…we can help you…just…"

His voice fell and broke. Immediate Shock erupted from Kowalski, Rico, and I. What kind of backwards world was this where _Skipper _had actually become speechless?

My mind…and certainly the minds of everyone else, had drawn to a complete blank.

Before anyone could react the agony filled penguin whispered "5 seconds…run."

We didn't need to be told twice.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered between small sobs as the bomb detonated.

Trees were flattened instantly in that single burst of energy. We had leaped for cover but still we were flung back like ragdolls.

I thought in earnest _I'm glad the Kid's not here_ as silence and darkness followed my every burning, agony induced breath.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Coughing away dust I opened my eyes.

I was met with the intense, repeating knowledge that for now at least I had survived the bomb; with the powerful dizziness and pounding headache I was also experiencing, I figured my head was messed up. I placed a flipper to my hurting cranium and stood with all the caution in the world. Everything was moving…way too fast.

My breathing labored, heartbeat racing I let my eyes fall to the ruins of the semi flattened forest. I stared, captivated by the once beautiful forest now reduced to ash and to the open blue sky above our heads.

It was a complete and total mystery how I or anyone else had survived.

I took a careful step forward, feeling relief soak deep down. My injuries weren't severe enough to impair my mobility; although my vision was cloudy, my hearing was terrible, and my head still felt like it was being assaulted by a hammer.

I blinked away lightheadedness, feeling somewhat dumbstruck in the decimated forest.

Head spinning, confusion overtook my senses as I felt something pierce my side. I stared down to find blood trickling out of a fresh wound.

Looking up I saw blurry objects moving towards my still form. I felt another sharp pain in my other side, only this time it was much closer to my chest.

Maybe it was from the blast that I wasn't thinking straight…or maybe it was something else entirely. All I know is it took me one hell of a time to come up with the simple realization that I was being shot at.

Almost in a state of utter panic I stumbled left, running right into Skipper. His eyes were bloodshot as he raised his rifle level with my head.

"It's me! It's me!"

I shot my flippers in the air as my voice came out slurred. There was at least enough sense left to try to avoid being shot at by my superior.

He nodded once saying "Right, Johnson find your rifle! They knew we were coming." His voice was muffled under my lack of hearing but I could tell his tone was just dripping with dread. He disappeared in a flash, leaving me by myself.

I felt like an idiot.

It took _my leader_ to tell me my one and only rifle was missing?

_Sad_, as Manfredi would have put it.

I moved like a drunken man back into the demolished clearing only to stare ahead seeing a bit more clearly, dozens of enemies moving ever so quickly towards our small scattered unit.

My breath was taken away as the enemies crashed through debris and ran towards us in uncountable numbers.

After a quick survey of the clearing I found my rifle lodged within the wreckage of a tree. My senses were returning and for one thing, I was grateful that my head was now pounding at a tolerable rate.

Rushing forward I bent over to quickly pry the trapped rifle away, feeling all at once pieces of wood dig into my skin. Pulling even harder, I became desperate to free my one and only protection.

Blood froze right in my veins as ice cold metal pressed firmly against my back.

"Get up!"

Gulping, I found the strength to confront Kowalski as he pressed his rifle deeper into my sore back.

"Kowalski, it's me…Johnson."

My voice wavered and fell apart. He obviously didn't recognize me as I heard his flipper put more pressure on the trigger.

Swiftly I moved from underneath it and faced my comrade. Blood oozed from a deep laceration in his side and his head was quivering. I was surprised to see his locket still around his neck.

"Look at me." I said, placing my flipper along the top of his rifle. With the rifle still raised he broke down, shaking as sobs overtook him.

I was…_very _frightened.

Although scared out of my mind, there was clearly no time to deal with this as a shot barely missed our heads while an enemy in blue came barreling towards us, mere yards away.

It was unperceiving whether Kowalski knew me or not but I grabbed him and shoved him left. Upon finally recognizing me he seemed to get the memo and we moved quickly through the cindered brush.

After racing forward and away from our enemies I had the most horrifying realization come over me…with all the Kowalski drama I had forgotten my rifle. Stopping inevitable, I screamed with all my might.

"MOTHER F-"

"Johnson, over here!"

To our left, Skipper came into view holding a heavily bleeding Rico underneath one wing.

Our comrade's one eye was closed from the blood streaming down his face but to my knowledge no trace of fear was present.

Grieving over my now and forever lost weapon I asked "Skipper sir, what do we do now?"

Facing his lieutenant he ordered "Kowalski, options!"

Those few words seemed to revive Kowalski as he responded quickly.

"I suggest splitting into teams of two. We then meet at the enemy's outer wall and go from there."

Skipper nodded in agreement and was about to make the final word when Kowalski faced his superior stating "Sir…we can't let them win."

Skipper nodded once more.

"Right you are Kowalski…and they're not going to win. We move now! Kowalski, you take Rico! Johnson, you're with me! Now let's move men move!"

We left in haste; I was unable to say any last words to my friends as Skipper was already yards ahead of me.

I followed in rapid pursuit, now starting to feel pain at where I had been shot.

Gun fire and sounds of machinery could be heard coming from close behind us.

All I could think as we crashed through the remaining forest was _what a hell of a mission this is turning out to be_.

Skipper and I stepped out of the trees and into a small clearing where we were met with a dazzling array of lights coming from dear ole morning sun.

"Dead end Skipper." I growled while trying to shield my flippers from the suns blinding rays.

He ignored me as he scanned our surroundings. By miracle, chance, or just sheer dumb luck he came upon the sight of the enemy's outer wall in the far distance. My eyes were squinted and still bedazzled by all the light but still I was able to make out the strong, steel wall of their camp.

As Skipper created a mental map of our position I heard a clinking sound come from behind us. My eyes wide, the grenade exploded before I could do or say anything.

The breath was taken from me as my head thumped into the compact snow and ice. I couldn't see as I rolled painfully forward.

Terrible pain shot through my chest as my body sailed into a jutted rock. Flying through the rock, I felt my head smack against the ice once more. Pain erupted inside my already hurt skull…

The immense amount of pain was so terrible and unexpected that for the first time in my life, I wanted to cry.

I tried stopping as I finally caught a glimpse of where I was heading. Panic and adrenaline mingled as I desperately dug into soft snow. I made one last feeble attempt to stop as I then felt nothing but air underneath my battered, bleeding body.

My head rolled back and I caught a flash of ice blue sky turn almost immediately gray before my sickening plunge began. Wind brushed my sides as gravity pulled me down where all time slowed.

Eyes closed I prepared myself for my untimely end. I was stunned as my eyes flew open.

My back collided with rock where I heard one of the most sickening cracks I ever had the misfortune to hear. Silence enveloped me, where in this entire God forsaken world; I was the only one there. For a brief second, I felt nothing, saw nothing, and thought nothing.

Breathing was slow and deliberate; I had to force my inhaling and exhaling.

Slowly.

_Everything slow..._I thought through the masking terror.

Each breath I inhaled hurt more than the last.

Who was I fooling? I was dying. In the mists of a war that for so many years was and still is filled with everlasting death, I would indefinitely become a part of those lost, dearly missed soldiers.

Both us…and the Blue's.

Trembling almost uncontrollably my eyes averted out towards the open expanse of thin, wild air and breathtaking mountain views…_I can't believe it…I won't believe it_.

Whimpering in self pity I stared up to the top of the cliff, seeing blood coat its icy exterior.

Only then did I notice the implausible amount of gun fire coming from above. I could do nothing but listen as Skipper faced the onslaught alone.

As quick as it seemed to have started it stopped.

I feared the worst…knew the worst. Skipper was dead and I had no hope, although I have no hope to grasp onto anyway so…

…My thoughts are just…happy aren't they?

Without thinking I laughed sadistically but then caught myself...if I'd had the willpower I would have slapped myself.

Raising a shaky flipper I rested it along my forehead. _Crap…I'm losing my damn marbles… _

As luck would have it, my leader surprised me as he stuck his head over the side of the cliff. Upon seeing me his face turned grim.

He was spattered in blood, I just hoped for his sake and mine it wasn't his.

His voice was collected as he called down "So Johnson, how do you suppose we get you up?"

He wasn't deceiving anybody and certainly not me. I was a lost cause and he knew it.

"Skipper, you're wasting your time." I growled through the numbing pain.

Skipper pondered in thought for a few moments while I was slowly starting to become aware of my little life saver crumbling and breaking beneath me.

Crying out in fear I made my decision…right then…right there.

"Skipper, I don't want to die!"

I saw pain in my leader's eyes as he replied in a solaced whisper "Of course you don't."

It was his tone that irked me.

He had undoubtedly come up with a decision himself. Playing God, he had decided in that one second my fate.

My eyes narrowed as tears leaked out. My voice was becoming more and more desperate as the shelf beneath me groaned in protest.

"Skipper, I need help!"

My leader's eyes closed where a few tears of his own dripped off his beak.

"Johnson…I'm sorry but…there's nothing I can do."

Those words…he just sealed my fate, permanently.

A small sob overtook my aching body as I said "Skipper…I'm afraid."

I noticed than that his one flipper was badly mangled as his good flipper balled into a tight fist.

"Skipper." I suddenly spoke; my voice becoming strong and forceful.

He stared down at me, the rock crumbling even further.

"I'm going to tell you something I was taught years ago."

I was becoming frantic…he knew it…_I knew it_.

My leader looked confused but interested as more tears slid down his saddened face. My hysteria and terror were becoming impossible to ignore as I breathed out "Never swim alone."

The anger and fear that coursed through me reached all the way up to my superior officer. I thrust my flipper forward and whispered hysterically "There's still time."

"Johnson…I…I can't."

My rage boiled over. In terror and frustration I screamed as loud as possible "YES YOU CAN! THERE'S STILL TIME!"

The shelf of rock shifted ever more. I had seconds left.

Skipper's look of grief turned angry as he glared down at me.

"Johnson, you know why I can't? Because if I died saving you…than it would mean the complete failure of this entire mission…and you know I can't do that."

I gazed up at him in disbelief.

We stared at each other for a second before I screamed in a hopeless plea "WE NEVER SWIM ALONE!"

My voice bounced off the cliff walls as more and more tears escaped me.

Skipper took a deep breath and closed his eyes, as if he was making the hardest decision of his life.

"I'm sorry Johnson, but there's nothing I can do for you. Your life is…worth sacrificing for the lives of others…it…it was an honor serving with you."

He saluted me and then watched in tear stricken grief as my depleting shelf gave way.

To swim in gravity's pull, I let her bittersweet momentum push me down as Mother Nature did the rest.

**A/N: Please review! :) It really helps me as a writer to know what the audience thinks.**

**I'm always open to suggestions and/or tips for improvement, just plz no flames. **

***Next and last segment to this trilogy will be K or K+ rated and feature Kowalski (he doesn't die). I hope to post it soon.* **

**Thanks for reading! **


	3. The Letter

**So I finally have the last segment to 'Eyes Open' complete! :D**

**...And...well I kinda failed when I said in my last chapter that this was going to be rated K or K+...its T. ^ ^'**

**I hope you all enjoy reading this, and I'd like to thank**** those who left the wonderful reviews/are reading! :)**

**Oh, before I forget...just so there's no confusion, where Kowalski is-its night and where Doris is-its day. Everything's happening at _about_ the same time, just different schedules. (or time zones, ect.) :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PoM**

* * *

"Hey Kowalski!"

I lifted my rigid head, the locket that held the picture of my once and forever love and I might add, my soon to be fiancé, swayed ever so slightly around my unmoving neck.

Well…actually my love wasn't _exactly_ my fiancé…yet. I still had the job of, well…um…*cough*proposing.

I had been lying down in my warm bunk when Private entered the room. Currently, I was writing the eighth letter to my sweet, my neck was aching from the minimal amount of movement I'd given it in the past few hours but it was all worth it.

I…um…always wrote out my letters in advance for the coming weeks, as being a man of science, training, maintenance and just about every other plausible military based operation had always kept me extremely busy.

Strange you may think of me to write out so many letters, but I am one hundred percent confident that Doris loves each and every thought out, hand written letter…and I one hundred percent always love hearing from her.

She is my sunshine, the reason I can get out of bed and train in the morning. She is my everything, without her…well there is no 'without her' because I love her and-

"KOWALSKI!"

Startled from my thoughts I fell from my top bunk and groaned loudly as I landed at Privates small feet.

I placed a flipper to my hurting cranium while sitting up and growled "Yes Private, what is it?"

The young cadet backed up and looked semi-frightened before replying.

"Oh…I-I'm sorry Kowalski…you just seemed to be-"

I stood with annoyance basking within my every breath.

"Private! Just tell me what you want!"

"Right…Ah, Skippah wants to see you."

Our young comrade saluted and held his flipper up while I shook my head, rolling my eyes.

"At ease Private."

"Yes sir."

Ruffling the top of Private's small head I made my way out of our sleeping unit. Cool evening air soaked through my warm feathers, sending slight chills reverberating through my entire body.

I sighed, and found my thoughts drifting to the girl I missed with all my heart, and with all my soul.

Doris and I…we'd been dating for five years…actually, today was our yearly anniversary so I guess it was six years now.

I sighed once more, but in regret. I couldn't help but feel absolutely terrible that today of all days I was here, on the other side of the world it seemed, and not there with her.

For the first time ever, I wished I'd never joined this accursed military establishment, just so I could be with her.

I missed her, and I hoped…she missed me.

My thoughts were so swirled that I smacked into my officers cabin rather hard.

Today is just not my day…

Groaning and rubbing my sore beak I opened my leader's cabin and stepped inside. Skipper was sitting on his bed, deep in thought for once. He had a flipper resting on his forehead and he looked as if he'd been pacing.

"Sir, you requested my presence?" I saluted as he looked up.

"At ease soldier." He said with a small chuckle.

I exhaled deeply, feeling slightly like Private for giving a prolonged salute to my superior.

My military officer stood and walked to me, his eyes downcast. I grew nervous, as his eyes became level with mine.

Standing firmly in place, the most peculiar demeanor fell over my caption.

This was odd, Skipper had a strange look in his eyes…it was almost _kind_.

_Oh God_, there _must_ be something wrong with him. Irrationality took hold and I started to panic, my voice was tense with nervousness.

"Skipper sir, are you-"

Before I had time to calculate and come up with any possible theories or explanations for his strange behavior, my officer surprised me and wrapped my body within a tight, suffocating hug.

I was unaccustomed to this…this manner of _affection_ my leader was giving me.

In the most scientific way I could possibly explain it, I was thoroughly _freaked_ _out_ by his actions.

"Um…Skipper…?"

He pulled away, embarrassment leaking from his normally stony, emotionless face.

"I-I'm sorry Kowalski. I just…I think I just need somebody to talk to."

_Oh boy_…*sigh*…I had now, within a second, prepared myself for a long and very awkward conversation.

I pulled up a chair and sat in it, waiting expectedly.

"Sir, what's on your mind?"

I was trying to be as polite as I could…and be a good friend. See, Skipper and I go back years. We had met in a bar in Mexico about ten years ago…and don't ask why I was there.

Long, very scientific, yet somewhat boring story.

"Kowalski…I just…I just feel I could have done something more."

My head cocked in confusion.

"Pardon?"

Skipper had averted all eye contact and was sitting in a chair across from me.

"Well…I-I'm talking about Johnson."

_Oh God…here we go again_.

But, I can't really blame him for being upset about the whole thing. He'd known Johnson longer than he'd known me…and he had known Manfredi even further back than Johnson.

The whole thing had been upsetting, especially when it came to Johnson.

I missed him, although how could I not?

These past months, six to be precise, had been horrible without him…and even Manfredi…I…I still can't think about him without shedding a few solemn tears.

"Well Skipper, you did everything you could-"

"No! I failed him, just like I failed Manfredi. Kowalski, just thinking about it…I'm sure now I could have done something to help Johnson...just somehow. I-I failed! As a leader, as a friend…I failed!"

Honestly, I partially didn't know what to do as Skipper released all his emotions onto me. I had actually recoiled slightly from it all, this was a rare moment from Skipper…and I just didn't know how to handle it.

Skippers head was deep within his flippers and I saw unbelievingly, a few tears leak down his cheeks.

I bit my tongue a little in thought and then reached forward.

I hugged my leader and patted his back, the only option I had at the time, before exclaiming "Skipper, there was nothing you could do. We all know there was absolutely and one hundred percent nothing that could have been done. You did everything right with Johnson, and Skipper, you excel at being a leader...and a friend."

At that moment, I felt as though I was a father comforting his strayed child. There was no military base outside, there was no awkwardness of a lieutenant hugging and comforting his strained superior officer, there was none of that.

Skipper, in that moment, needed somebody to talk to.

And I was there to listen.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

(3rd Person)

Far away in early pre-dawn, a dolphin had a pencil in her flipper and a piece of paper on a large flat stone.

Her perfect handwriting took up the whole paper. She had taken extra care in making sure it wouldn't get wet as she was finishing her last sentence.

The letter she'd been writing had taken the beautiful dolphin nearly a week to write. But she wanted it to be perfect.

It had to be.

As she finished signing her name, and re-reading the letter over and over, the dolphin began to cry.

He wouldn't take it well…he'd hate her.

She reasoned it would be the end of that life…but yet, she had to do it.

Because for her, it was the beginning of something new.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

(Kowalski's POV)

I sat and talked with Skipper for what felt like hours into the night. I comforted him as best as I could, and he looked as if he appreciated my time and every word I was saying. That look of grief and withdrawal had left long ago like the hours of twilight and was now replaced with utmost confidence.

Slowly but gradually our conversation shifted towards the love of my life.

"I miss her Skipper."

It was unexpected, coming from my beak. But Skipper nodded and patted my shoulder.

"I know soldier, that's why I'm sending you back home to see her for a few days."

"I just, Skipper I just miss her so much and-wait what did you say?"

Shocked by his words, I had to hear them again, to see if they were real, or if fatigue was toying with my hearing.

Skipper laughed and said "Soldier, I'm sending you home to see your girl."

I placed a flipper to my beak and choked out a cry.

"Sir…are…are you serious?"

Amusement twinkling in his eyes, he stood and nodded, grabbing me and pulling me into another crushing hug which I accepted and returned.

I let the tears of joy and gratitude run down my face.

Eight months.

Eight months since I had last seen my love.

Too long…just…too long.

"You leave in a few hours, soldier. So go pack, and tell your girl Skipper says 'hi.'"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

(3rd Person)

Dawns early morning rays slowly turned the dark blue of night into a beautiful array of light blues, pinks and bright golden hues.

A dolphin had just sealed her letter in a water proof and air tight bottle before heading to the New York City docks.

It didn't take her long to reach said piers, and when she did she made her way through the water and to one dock in particular. Queasiness grasped her stomach but she forced the feeling away, she had other priorities that were much more important.

Brushing the side of the dock with her fin she surfaced with the bottle in her snout.

Up above her head, resting peacefully on the dock was a brown and white seagull. He had a small grey pack that went around his neck and chest and a few army tags were visible around his neck.

"Excuse me?" She asked politely through the bottle in her mouth.

The seagull shook his head and gazed down into the water.

"Yes, miss is there something I can help you with?"

She pointed a flipper to her bottle in which the seagull swooped down and caught it within his feet. He rose back up to the dock and rested the bottle there as the dolphin began to speak.

"Thank you sir, um I need that letter delivered to a Lieutenant Kowalski at Penguin Militia Fort A within an hour…if it's possible."

The brown and white bird nodded but said "Yes ma'am that can be arranged, but it will cost ya extra."

She sighed and dove underwater, staying down a few minutes and then re-surfacing with a mouthful of fish. The dolphin tossed them up to the seagull who ate them greedily.

The dolphin said "Please sir, just make sure that letter gets to Lieutenant Kowalski as soon as possible."

"Yes ma'am!" the bird saluted and took off with the bottle safely secured within his pack.

Doris watched with tear stricken eyes as she placed a loving flipper to her stomach. Just then, a dark bluish grey dolphin with a scarred snout rose beside her and nuzzled her affectionately.

"You did the right thing." He said with a hint of a growl.

"I know." She sighed. "But it's still hard."

The two swam away from the scene with the light of a new day sparkling against the crystal blue of the ocean water.

With a heavy, troubled heart, Doris thought _Kowalski…please…please understand. _

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

(Kowalski's POV for the rest of the story)

I excitably entered our team's sleeping unit. I was practically giggling with eager excitement at seeing Doris in just a few measly hours.

Our cabin seemed so empty now that Manfredi and Johnson were gone. Private had taken Manfredi's bunk and Rico had taken Johnson's bunk. I guess Rico didn't want to feel alone since his old bunk was farther away than ours.

When I had walked in, Rico was reading a magazine with what appeared to be a large explosion on the front cover.

He laid down his magazine and stared at me strangely.

"W'at up wi' you?" he asked.

I reached under Private's bunk and pulled out a large penguin sized duffle bag.

I said while throwing my personal belongings inside "Oh Rico, nothing much…except later today I'm going home to see Doris!"

Without even turning, I knew Rico had rolled his eyes at my statement.

He just didn't understand how much I loved her. No one understood what I would do for her; I'd give her my life, and much more.

Private yawned and opened his eyes. Upon seeing my disorderly packing his eyes grew wide.

"Kowalski where are you going?"

"Not to worry Private, I'm going home for a few days to see Doris."

Young Private's eyes lit up as he exclaimed "That's great Kowalski, have a smashing time! Do you need any help packing?"

"No thank you Private, I've got everything I could possibly need done."

Rico had returned to flipping through his magazine when he said to me "Oh Kowalski, you 'ave a let'er."

I turned as he threw a bottle at me; luckily I caught it before it could shatter on the wooden floor. Giving him a nasty glare I hopped up into my bunk and laid down, opening the bottle and pulling out the letter within.

Apprehension suddenly clawed at my stomach. I knew the letter was from Doris…but I felt different about this one. For some reason, I felt this was something deeper than just a 'hi how're ya doing, I'm fine' letter. I found my flipper suddenly shaking as I unfolded the simple lined paper, feeling my heart stop.

_To my dearest, and sweetest Kowalski-_

_ I won't bore you with an incredible amount of detail, but I'm afraid this just isn't working. Us, I mean. It's too much, not knowing. Wondering if today's the day I'll receive the message I always fear. The day I'll be told you're never coming home. Three years, and I've had enough. Please, please don't think too badly of me, but I can't keep living a life of constant fear._

_I'm held back from the world Kowalski and, I've also found someone else. Someone who really cares for me, who loves me as much as you do. _

_ He's here for me when I'm stressed, when I feel as though my world is falling apart. He protects me and makes me feel safe, he's here and not there. I've lived that life, of everlasting dread for much too long. It's time to let go, and for me to live a new, and more fulfilled life. I have to do this. _

_ Kowalski, I will always cherish the times we've spent together, good and bad. So this is goodbye, now and forever. You will always, no matter what, remain in my broken heart. _

_With love-Doris _

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Numbly, I removed myself from my bunk and out into the dark night.

Nothing could ever have described that moment, the moment I had finished that letter.

I breathed deliberately, fearing I may forget how, for all conscious thoughts were consumed with the letter I held within my cold flipper.

I needed to be alone, to consider about what all this meant. That after six years, she…she broke up with me. So I moved without thinking behind my team's cabin, the only quiet place where I could truly be alone.

My whole body was quivering, yet no tears would come…this…this was just unexpected.

Re-reading the note my eyes dimly fell upon …_I'm held back from the world…_

What…what does she mean by that…was I really holding her back? Practically killing her from within? Why couldn't she have brought any of this up earlier in our relationship, if my being in the military bothered her _that_ much.

It didn't make sense…and she…she _met _someone…?

My eyes were glued to those words …_ I've also found someone else_…

I feel as though most would have felt betrayed by those words, stomped on, or treated like trash…but I didn't feel any sort of anger or retaliation.

I don't know why…but I wasn't mad at her.

No matter what, I could never be angry with whatever decision she'd made.

Well actually sitting behind my cabin, I was furious, but not at her. No, I was angry at myself, for letting this happen.

For letting her be alone. _Unloved…and alone_.

I gulped and felt the slow rise of tears pour down my face. No matter how much I fought it, I couldn't stop my emotions from spilling out and into my flippers. My head rested in both flippers as I held the letter tightly within, accidently letting salty tears fall gently into the soft paper.

"Shit…" I growled, wiping the tears away and surprising even myself at the rare curse.

Sniffing I just sat there and re-read the letter…over…and over.

Skipper was going to send me back home within an hour or two…how was I going to do that now, knowing she'd broken it off.

But I needed some answers, answers that couldn't be given on a piece of paper.

I needed to see Doris, and talk with her face to face, no matter hard that may be.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Skipper knew nothing of my predicament as I stepped off a small plane on the loading docks of New York City.

The locket around my neck felt cold as an afternoon breeze blew through my still feathers. I had my duffle bag in one flipper, and the letter in another. I had planned on staying with Doris, but clearly that wasn't going to happen.

So with no other options I decided to stay at the docks for the few days I'd be here. I'd stay out of sight and I'd have plenty of access to food so it seemed like a good idea.

I flung my bag on a wooden crate in one of the many large warehouses that dotted the New York City piers. The letter went back into my bag and I than made the tricky operation of finding Doris.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

I don't know how, and I don't know why it had been so easy, but I had found her…and her new boyfriend.

I cringed just thinking of the word…_boyfriend_…

The beach I was on was rocky, and covered with gravel, and I guess not really a beach at all.

A deep breath to clear my thoughts and I then jumped up onto the outermost rock that dipped down into the ocean water. The sun was to my back and felt comforting, despite the fact that I wanted to throw up.

Doris and a dark bluish grey dolphin were flicking water at each other playfully and just a few yards away.

Oh how I wished I could have leapt into that water and hugged my love…but it was essential that I keep my cool.

I cleared my throat before calling out into the clear water.

"Um…hi Doris."

The light gray female dolphin froze in place, her aqua blue eyes trailing to the rock I was currently standing on where her gorgeous face fell into disbelieving shock.

"Kowalski…?"

I nodded my head, having to bite my tongue as tears wished to be freed.

She slowly swam through the water and came within a foot of my slick rock, I noticed the bottom of the seabed was quite a ways down so she could easily come this far to shore.

I tried to smile, I really did, but nothing happened. I just couldn't.

Her eyes were glued to my feet as she asked "So…um…d-did you get-"

"The letter, yes."

I finished for her, my tone even and my eyes rested on her delicate facial features.

A few tears leaked from her eyes as she murmured "I'm so sorry Kowalski…"

"So am I…but Doris, I need some answers…and not coming from a piece of paper."

I spoke gently and sat on the edge of the rock, my feet dipping into the cold refreshing water. Just then, the male dolphin swam up to Doris and gave me a cold, hardened glare.

"Is this Lieutenant Kowalski?"

"Yes." I answered for Doris, my tone razor sharp.

I didn't like him.

I know…I know…sounds like jealousy talk, of course a guy whose gone crazy in love with a girl would be envious of the man who 'stole' her.

But this was different.

There was something about him that was slightly intimidating, and all the meanwhile aggressive. I stared straight into his navy blue eyes and growled as polite as I could "Can Doris and I talk privately…please?"

The glare he gave me sent coldness throughout my body, but if there was one thing I'd ever learned from being in the military, it's to _never_ show fear to your enemies. So, I stood my ground and glared right back.

Doris nudged the male dolphin away and whispered "Conner, its ok…he won't hurt me."

I watched as the dolphin named Conner dove underwater in a flash, but not before spraying me with water in the process.

_Jerk _I though before shaking my head of the sea water.

Doris was refusing to look me in the eyes, which was frustrating.

"Why are you here?" she asked, a slight edge to her voice.

"Skipper sent me home so I could see you for a few days." I answered truthfully and that did it for her. She started to cry, small sobs escaping her throat.

I…felt…_horrible_.

Biting my tongue again, I could taste metallic but I'd hardly noticed. I was too busy cursing myself for making her cry real and sincere tears.

I did the first thing that came to mind and reached out a flipper, gently caressing the side of her cheek.

"Shh…Doris…I'm sorry."

I meant every word.

"No, no…it's not you…" she said before moving away from my touch.

"Then please love, tell me what's wrong."

"Kowalski I'm pregnant." She blurted out, all color leaving her face.

…

…

…

…

I…

…I don't fully remember those last few minutes because…I…I…well…I blanked out and fainted.

She had splashed water onto my unconscious body, which had aroused me into the nightmarish hell I so desperately wanted to leave. But I forced myself to stay calm and collected.

I rose to a sitting position…still trying to barely grasp onto those three unbelievable words.

"Y-y-y-you're pregnant?" I finally choked out.

My voice had risen barely above a whisper as I raised my head in clear disbelief. My breath was labored and I almost blacked out again but she nuzzled my side to try to keep me awake.

"Kowalski…I…I didn't mean for this to happen."

I felt dizzy as I stared off into space before looking up at Doris.

"Of course we don't _mean_ for these things to _happen_." I murmured in a low, almost inaudible whisper.

I got up and Doris grabbed my foot.

"Please, don't go." She pleaded.

"I wasn't leaving." I said, still dumbfounded by the information I now possessed.

That my girlfriend not only had found another man-er dolphin to be with…but that she had also slept with said dolphin…and was now pregnant because of it.

Did…did I _really_ deserve any of this…?

I must have…I must have done _something_ wrong…something inexcusable. _Something that would have led her away from me_.

My head twitched slightly from these thoughts and I squeezed my eyes shut. Eyes still closed I asked "I'm going to take a _wild_ guess and say that Conner's the father?"

"Yes, but Kowalski…I _love_ him."

If my heart could possibly physically do this, then it would have shattered into a billion microscopic pieces.

"I thought you loved _me_." I whispered back, finally being able to look into her aqua blue irises.

"I…I don't know…anymore Kowalski. You're a great guy…but I just don't know anymore."

Crushed, stomped on, might as well shoot me while you're at it, because no pain could ever compare to the slow deliberate breaking of one's mental heart.

I reached forward and took her flipper gently.

"You know I will always love you…and your child." I added for it was true, despite the ever looming fact that he or she wouldn't be my own…not even counting that it would be even _physically_ possible for Doris and I too have any children together but that's not the point I'm making.

I love her and I always will, even when her heart drifts ever further away from mine.

In that last and special moment with my love, Conner rose from the waters depths and shoved my flipper away.

"I think it's time for you to go."

A voice so cold and icy, I had to wonder what Doris saw in him…that she didn't see in me.

Even though I really hadn't asked any of the questions I'd prepared for our talk, I sort of didn't need those answers anymore.

A long sigh and I stared once more at Doris, her lovely features...a heart made of pure gold…I guess it was all too good to be true and as the saying goes 'she's out of my league.'

"If you ever need anything, know I will always be there for you, even when I'm thousands of miles from home I'll find a way."

My promise and my heart was all I could give as she floated away from me.

She smiled weakly and mouthed the words 'thank you' before Conner nudged her back with a slight growl.

Once they were gone I lingered for a bit, wondering what I was going to possibly do for the next few days, and what I was going to tell Skipper and my team once I returned.

I guess I'd just say things didn't work out. That we grew apart…? A lie, yes, but I couldn't tell the truth, not the whole truth anyway.

For the first time in my life I took off my locket with the picture of Doris. Without a second thought I tossed it into the waves, feeling neither anger nor remorse.

Numb, I guess would be the appropriate word of choice for how I was feeling.

But if there was one thing I absolutely knew, was that this was my secret.

My personal secret that Doris had left me for another man and was now pregnant, yes, my secret that would remain hidden for as long I could possibly keep it.

I owed her that much.

**A/N: This one shot has given me**** some ideas and I might add that this last chapter _may_ be the prelude to a future story involving Kowalski, Doris, her child, and Conner, who at the moment all we know about is that he's kind of a jerk.**

**Well, I hope this turned out ok and I hope you all liked it.**

**Please review and tell me what you all thought of this last segment.**

**Thanks for reading! :)**


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